Philippians 4:8 (GNB) “. . . my friends, fill you minds with those things that are good and deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.”
POSITIVE THOUGHTS
Both my parents were old and weak and needed my care in a multitude of ways. I had my husband’s support and the help of a paid assistant, but the huge responsibility of watching over two elderly people weighed heavy on me. On this one particular day when George my stepfather was in the hospital, these were my thoughts: I’m tired. I don’t want to take care of my parents anymore.
Every day I had been driving thirty minutes to the hospital and thirty minutes back home. While I visited with George, I had to be an alert advocate, making sure he got the best care. Then I would return home to my mother who was completely helpless with severe dementia. There was no escaping all my responsibilities.
I remember sitting in my car in the hospital-parking garage, longing for this commitment as caregiver to end. Then I felt as if God said to me, stop thinking about it. This was a simple, straightforward answer that actually worked. I stopped wishing for something that was obviously not going to happen anytime soon. When I switched my thoughts from despair to something pleasant, I felt relieved and at peace immediately.
It was just the right message at just the right time. This is why I am so certain that it came from God. He had reminded me of something that I already knew. For years I had been reading Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s books about faith in God along with positive thinking. I loved his books because they have never failed to lift my spirits. Now God was reminding me what I had learned, that I had the power to change how I felt by changing my thoughts.
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Soon I discovered that the hard part was to prevent these negative thoughts from slowly creeping back. Often this would happen when I was physically and mentally tired. To prevent fatigue from setting in, I needed to make time for play, rest, and prayer. When I felt peaceful and rested, I had more energy, and it was easier to keep my thoughts light and right.
Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I had renewed faith that God gave me this work, that I loved and honored my parents by my care for them and that God was pleased with me. Often I reminded myself that God was teaching me to be more like His own dear Son, my Lord and Savior Jesus.
YOUR JOURNAL: What are you thinking and feeling today?
TIP FOR
CAREGIVER:
Before my parents built an extension onto our house, and before we knew my parents would need it, my husband and I asked the architect to include a handicap-friendly bathroom in the blueprints. This meant the floor space had to be large enough for a wheelchair to enter and turn around easily. It also meant it had to be large enough to accommodate a roomy shower stall with a seat.
If you don’t have a handicap bathroom for your parents, there are still things that can be done to make the one you have safer. My husband added stainless steel handrails along side the toilet for my stepfather who was unsteady on his feet. Also handrails can be mounted near the bathtub for safe entry and exit. There are also shower and tub chairs available. Look in the yellow pages for stores that specialize in the products for the handicapped. It is amazing how many helpful things are out there. Just remember that often Medicare will pay a percentage of the cost
Attitude Adjustment
There is a gloomy dragon, that settles in my soul,
munching at the tender sprouts, straining to survive.
The ugly beast annoys me; I try to throw it out,
but there are days I give up, feel sorry for myself.
Then God reminds me, your attitude is wrong.
Again I will choose the quest for love and loyalty
to weak, elderly parents who must lean on me.
The sad dragon roars and begins to shrink,
until a sigh away, just a speck remains.
Sacrifice can flourish again in my soul,
growing sturdy flowers, with the scent of joy.
