James 1:12
“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trail, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Ambivalence
While I took care of my parents at home a few people called me an angel. If they only knew the real me . . . I’m no angel! Often I gave my rebellious spirit too much energy by wishing I could pack my bags and run away from all my responsibilities. At best I was an angel only occasionally.
I tried to be good by picking up the gauntlet each day and deciding once again, I can do this! I tried to brush the negative thoughts away and continue to give my parents the tender loving care they deserved.
Sometimes I felt as if this was the way it was supposed to be, my parents living with Bill and I. Then other times, I felt like it was a mistake, and I wished they had never come. These opposing thoughts fought inside me so much that I thought I must be a bad person.
Then I’d remember what my Aunt Joanna used to tell me when I called her on the telephone to complain and confess my not so nice thoughts. You know what that means? She would say. You’re human.
She was right. No person can give perfect love. Only Jesus our Lord and Savior accomplished this perfection while He was here on earth. Now it was only with His help and guidance that I kept trying to do the best for Mom and George.
YOUR JOURNAL: Write about a time when the words, you're only human, would have been exactly what you needed to hear. Remember, you can be a good caregiver even though you are not a perfect caregiver.
TIP FOR CAREGIVER: Since my mother could no longer follow instructions such as, keep your eyes shut, we used no-tear products when we shampooed her hair or washed her face. This made the job painless for all of us.
Ambivalence
God calls me to climb
a mountain.
One foot goes up while
the other goes down.
