The Top 40 Caregiver Tips

1) Many people don't know this, but the Red Cross will send someone to your house to teach you many caregiving skills that you may need.

2)If your loved one needs a walker...take the time to shop around.  Although the local pharmacies here in East Central Florida do not, many pharmacies across America will rent you a 'generic' walker until you can locate the right one.  All walking aids should be measured as well as adjusted by a professional.  If possible, opt for the one with a front basket.

3) While we're on the subject, when you install pretty much any safety device, tool, or item of furniture to make life easier for your parent, it's thoughtful and nice to involve the loved one in the decision as much as possible.  Kinda like "Hey Dad, would you like a walker WITH or without a basket?"..or "Which of these bathroom handles would be of MOST help to you?"

4) Hey, say that you're concerned about Grandma or Grandpa and they're living alone or as a widow/widower...It would be wise to have a "mutually-acceptable" time to call every day.  And also please make Grandma or Grandpa agree to let you know ahead of time if there would be some sort of scheduling conflict that would keep her from answering.  But please work that out...do it!

5 ) We highly suggest that you keep some sort of "Captain's log" (medical diary/symptoms) when you care for a loved one...especially for your loved one's"difficult days."  Hey...you may start to observe a pattern.  It's indeed important in life to "stop and smell the roses"; however, when you're caregiving...it's imperative to be "vigilant and observant".

6) I don't have any statistics to back it up, but I truly believe a confused/Alzheimer's/dementia loved one can more easily understand what you want him to TO DO more than what you want him/her NOT to do.

7) Another on this subject, never leave a memory-impaired person alone in a parked car.

8) Loved ones who likely to wander should always carry identification, and it would be responsible to purchase an ID bracelet for him/her.  The National Alzheimer's Association sponsors the "Safe Return Program" which for a minimal registration fee, will provide bracelets and necklaces with identification that will enable your loved one's safe return he/she wanders off or gets lost. You may want to check with your local Alzheimer's Association or visit alz.org/resourcecenter/programs/safereturn.htm , and please have a current photo available just in case you need to provide one for local authorities.

9) If your senior caregiving-recipient is really upset and agitated, try to find out WHY instead of telling him/her to calm down.  Is he/she frightened? In pain? Hungry? Too cold?  There's usually some reason, even if it's one that your loved one is overreacting to.

10) If your caregiver-recipient has speech problems, Jason personally would use a $10 Office Depot dry-erase white board for messages, and having words like "toilet", "hungry", "thirsty", "hot", "cold", etc., but since we've heard about some people who cut out some pictures of everyday objects from magazines, and pasted them onto index cards for speech-impaired seniors.  The loved one would just point to the cards to communicate.  Sounds like a great idea!

11) Give your caregiving-recipient the time and space that he/she may need to grieve for the loss of a loved one, but after a few weeks you should begin to "gently" encourage him/her to socialize, participate in hobbies, etc.  We wouldn't expect the caregiver-recipient to "snap back" right away, but I wouldn't allow extended time sitting in a dark room either.

12) Use plastic bibs at mealtime.  The first few meals YOU should wear one too...it'll make the caregiver-recipient more comfortable about wearing one.

13) Help prevent infections by having those antibacterial "wet wipes" available in most every room of the care-recipient's home as well as in the car.

14) Always wear plastic/rubber disposable gloves when you have (or even SUSPECT that may have) any kind of skin disorder...such as a cut, a lesion, a rash, or infection...ESPECIALLY in regards to food preparation and unpleasant duties such as suppository insertion.

15) Books on tape or books on CD are wonderful for loved ones when their vision deteriorates to the point where it interferes with their reading enjoyment.  Most major releases are always availble in such formats, and your local library usually has a large selection, and others are available to rent at www.recordedbooks.com and please remember that your local library will have manybooks available in large print too.  You should make sure that your loved one knows how to use the CD or tape player, and if it runs on batteries, make sure that there are plenty of spare ones.

16) If your loved one plays cards, you may want to buy him/her a deck with enlarged numbers.  They're available almost anywhere.   And magnifying glasses comes in almost any shape and size.  Keep several around the house.

17) To clean feces from a loved one's body, I suggest using a tissue dabbed in Vaseline petroleum jelly.

18)  Other than the smell of vinegar, white wine vinegar eliminates the odor of urine immediately...really well on carpet, too!

19)  Please make sure that the pathway from your caregiver-recipient's bed or comfy chair to the bathroom is CLEAR and easy to follow....and get extra night-lights to illuminate the way.

20)  Whenever you and your loved one visit someone's house or funeral home or restaurant or anywhere neither of you have been before, as very soon as possible locate the nearest bathroom upon your arrival.  First of all, it's just considerate.  Secondly, you'll save yourself extra worry, concern, or guilt.  If you're a responsible caregiver, we KNOW you have enough to worry about already.

21) It's good to have a spray fabric protector, and it should be used as soon as the clothing is removed from the dryer, and those plastic sheets that may be on the loved one's bed, make sure to air dry them...otherwise, they frequently get brittle.

22) Bring the "Captain's log" (earlier-mentioned medical/symptom diary that, if possible, that you should BOTH keep) to each and every doctor or specialist appointment and be prepared to take any necessary notes during any exam/consultation.  It's also good to maintain a list of doctors/specialists that you for some reason considered consulting, but didn't.  It's ALSO a good idea is to make sure that all your loved one's doctors and specialists are ALL "on the same page" and made aware of any chanes in diagnosis and treatment.  The best way would be via fax transmission; however, e-mail, US Mail, or even phone calls would be of assistance...plus it would reinforce a "watchdog mentality" which seemingly inspires the best of care amongst doctors, specialists, even hospital and nursing home administrators.

24) If your senior loved one IS able to prepare meals for himself/herself, encourage him/her to use smaller, lightweight pots and pans...which are easier to handle, and also encourage turning all pot handles in towardsthe center of the stovetop to avoid accidents.

25) If your senior loved one is amongst the many millions who have diffriculty chewing or swallowing due to ill-fitting dentures, temporomandibular (TMJ) problems, ALS, Alzheimer's, even just being mouth & throat cancer patients...You probably have a Kitchen Aid or Cuisinart food processor (or a similar brand) for pureeing or liquefying foods.  It is worth purchasing an extra bowl or 2 and an extra blade or 2 so that you can prepare different foods in rapid succession, and spares are available from most suppliers.  If your food processor "walks" or moves along your counter top, or even just especially noisy, place it a rubberized or soft plastic mat.  

26) If your loved one has to stay at a local hospital or even in a nursing home...the food can be pretty awful, and we've eaten at a bunch of them.  Whenever possible, have a local restaurant deliver him/her a special meal.  Suggest to other family members and other visitors to come at mealtime and bring prepared foods with them...your loved one could very well require dining assistance, so this makes this tip all the more important.  It's also good to have some paper plates and other disposables handy for food & snacks that you or others brinig in from outside.

27) It's not pleasant, but Hey...it's the 21st century, and we're TALKING ABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE.  Just about every insurance program has a very complicated referral program whereby in this system you won't get reimbursed for expenses unless a general practitioner refers you to a specialist "IN WRITING" prior to the appointment.  We wouldn't and haven't trusted that these forms would get to the right desk.  You shouldn't either.  Ask that all referrals are sent to you or faxed to you, and then YOU will be the one to make sure each form is sent to the proper office.  (Always make a xerox copy and bring it with you to the appointment.).  If this isn't possible, at least contact the the doctor's secretary before the appointment to double-check that the form from the referring physician has been received.

28) DON'T ASSUME that "No news is good news".  If your caregiver-recipient has taken a test and the results of it are overdue, please take the time to follow up.

29) Pick up a joke book or look up some funny items or jokes on the web.  Getting your loved one to laugh exercises their bodies and soothes their spirits.  As a matter of fact, research has shown that laughter 1) exercises both brain hemispheres 2) clears the lungs 3) reduces the stress hormone cortisol 4) releases endorphins 5) dialates the blood vessels, and 6) results in helping deliver more oxygen to the brain.  As soon as the NBA Finals game on my TV concludes, I'm turning my TV set to Comedy Central.

30) We love this one!  Organization development consultant & health laughter consultant Marilyn Sprague-Smith suggests caregivers or anyone who wants more joy in their lives incorporate the following 6 practices:
MONDAY is for compliments.  Look for ways you can give sincere compliments to others.
TUESDAY is for flexibility.  Try something new.
WEDNESDAY is for gratitude.  Think of the many things that you're grateful for.
THURSDAY is for kindness.  Be as nice to others as you can.  Every day should be THURSDAY for everyone!
FRIDAY is for forgiveness...of yourself and others.    And   SATURDAY is for chocolate.  It can be a new CD, a DVD, a pizza delivered with all the trimmings, or it can really be chocolate!!  The point being a well-earned treat for the caregiver too.  Unfortunately, my "chocolate" would've been real sleep longer than a nap.  Caregiving by yourself rarely allows for that.

31)   The elderly will sometimes disrespect young doctors, whom they'll frequently perceive as "Doogie Howsers."  Apologize to the doctor privately and try not to worry about it.  Many of the young doctors will admit that "it's happened a few times before."

32) If your senior loved one has a few or several friends, try to get to know them and develop some sort of relationship with them, even if you may not especially like them yourself.  You should admit to yourself and recognize how important their support is...if not now, perhaps in the near future, to your loved one...and it's increasingly important if you can't be around very much yourself.

33) You should NEVER even consider attending a doctor's appointment with your senior caregiver-recipient without checking first to see if the doctor is running on schedule.  Senior patients are unfortunately often the first to get "bumped" when there's a crunch.

34) Try to be especially patient at mealtime...senior adults frequently eat much more slowly than what you may be used to.  You should also attempt to minimize any distractions at mealtimes, and it would be considerate to not bring up any stressful subjects, too.  If loved one DOES eat extremely slowly, AND say you're having a larger gathering of friends or family for...say a post-church Sunday luncheon or brunch, you should arrange for your loved one to be seated and start his or her meal before everyone else.

35) If your caregiver-recipient has a vision problem, put his/her liquids in a clear "see-through" glass or cup.

36) It's important for your caregiving-recipient get dressed each and every day, even if there's not an important reason to do so.  Whether it's a nice dress for your Mom or snappy shirt, slacks, and cardigan for your Dad...but even if it's just a sweatshirt and sweatpants for either, we feel that getting dressed sends a message and symbolizes the "start of a new day" and helps keep spirits up, and it's generally can be mentally and spiritually encouraging...even when the situation suggests otherwise.  Please suggest this to other caregivers, and encourage your own parents to dress daily.  Take the time to tell your Mom how nice she looks in her fancy blouse or pantsuit, or complement your Dad with his shirt & cardigan.  Please don't stop buying them things just because they likely have enough to wear.  A gift of apparel for your loved one suggests a reminder to him or her that there's STILL a future ahead.

37) You can make dressing easier for your loved one by putting his shirt INSIDE of his sweater so he can put both on at once.  He can put his underpants and slacks on the same way with less than a minute of your time for preparation.  And if your senior is indeed well enough to dress himself/herself, remember that just getting dressed once can be difficult enough.  It's very considerate to help your loved one avoid having to take clothes off and then have to put them right back on again by simply labeling the inside of sweatshirts, pants, sweaters, etc. with "FRONT" and "BACK".  For your female senior, it's helpful to purchase bras with FRONT closures. Let's squeeze a little more into this one by mentioning that if you have to sew on a button or 3 for your caregiver-recipient...once it's sewn on, if you place a drop of Superglue on the center of each button, it'll keep the button in place forever.

38) Your Mom or Dad may not even know that she or he has a hearing problem...perhaps acting depressed or withdrawn because she's/he's thinking that she's/he's getting senile.  Remember to frequently communicate with your senior loved ones, and be observant.
PLEASE HAVE HEARING CHECKED REGULARLY ("You, too!").  Some signs of a problem A) Asking people to repeat things. B) A very high volume on the TV or radio. C) Appearing to ignore questions. D) Becoming angry when questioned. E) Difficulty with or just even avoiding the telephone. F) Withdrawing from conversations, and G) Ringing in the ears.
Remember someone who's having a hearing problem could just have an earwax buildup.  If your caregiving-recipient DOES have to get a hearing aid...you should also know that it generally takes around 6 weeks to get used to a hearing aid.  The fancy electronic hearing aids that can automatically adjust sound levels don't require batteries, but most do.  In that case, make sure to have a supply of extra hearing aid batteries available at all times...even some in the car in case of emergencies.  Ladies, have some in your purse, and guys, if you don't have to wear a suit...try a PHOTOJOURNALIST's VEST with its characteristic multi-digit amount of handy pockets.  It's great for domestic/international air travel and fishing, too!  It's basically a "purse" for guys that you wear.  It comes in very handy if you're a caregiver.  It can hold your "Captain's log" as well as today's newspaper or a gaming control, snacks, disinfectant wetnaps, and much, much more when you're having to wait to be called at your loved one's doctor...or having to wait during X-rays or other medical procedures.  These vests are available at http://www.woolrich.com or by calling toll-free catalog customer service at 1-800-966-5372.  There is some wonderful apparel for "special needs" seniors (Those with arthritis, Alzheimer's, limited mobility, or incontinence, etc.) at http://www.Silverts.com or their toll-free number (You can call for a catalog, too) at 1-800-387-7088.  http://www.ClothingSolutions.com also has clothing designed for dignity and easy dressing at 1-800-336-2660.

39) For any advancing chronic illness or any geriatric psychological condition, and your loved one is admitted into the hospital...as soon as possible make contact with the discharge planner, who has quite a bit of control over where he/she will go after the hospital stay (if your loved one can't go home) and what kind of care he/she will receive.  For this very reason, it wouldn't hurt to "schmooze" a bit, but at least you should initiate communication early and often with this person whose decisions may  have a significant impact on your loved one's future.  While being admitted, ask if there's a choice of rooms...if there is, go for the window side.  There's less traffic and a better view for your loved one.  Also, please don't panic if your loved one is put into the intensive care unit (ICU).  Most hospitals admit seniors to the ICU almost automatically.

40) Whether at home, in a hospital, or in a nursing home...if a bedpan is necessary, be sure to have a PLASTIC one.  This is important...even if you have to buy it yourself.  The metal ones get uncomfortably cold.  We at the United States Christian Nursing Home & Caregiver Association suggest that if a metal one HAS to be used, run warm water into it and around the rim.  Then dry thoroughly before it's used.

FREE BONUS TIP 41) This is for the "pros": ALWAYS PROTECT THE THE DIGNITY OF THE PATIENT/CAREGIVER RECIPIENT!  Always ask permission before working within "private" areas.  Ask people to leave the room.  Keep the curtains drawn...even for a short procedure.